Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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