i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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