Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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