My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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