im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
