... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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