R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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