batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
