belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
