saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
zippers are such a cool invention
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
