So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
