Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
