you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
