Non-Jews are for practice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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