No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize