its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
