i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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