Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Found the puke drawer
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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