I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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