Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
