But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
