that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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