there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
