After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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