Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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