Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
