can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
