she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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