my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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