i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
