I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize