she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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