I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
