But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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