Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
