she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
