Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
