And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
