im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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