I'm really into asian looking animals
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize