just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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