Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
