i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
