All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
