I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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