in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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