That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
