can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
