You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
