your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
