Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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