babies were throwing up all over the place
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
