...so i touched it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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