You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
