I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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