you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize